Dispatches From Lesbian America by Smith Cheela Romain

Author:Smith, Cheela Romain [Smith, Cheela Romain]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Anthology
Publisher: Bedazzled Ink Publishing
Published: 2017-03-03T05:00:00+00:00

From Tomboy to Woman to Feminist to

Radical Lesbian: My Life’s Journey

Chante Shirelle Holsey

Chante Shirelle Holsey was born in Dominguez Valley Hospital across the street from Compton, in California. She has a B.A. in Criminal Justice and is a self-published author of a religious spiritual inspirational book called Longings of My Heart, under the author name Ashirah. Her piece in this book is memoir.

GROWING UP IN a society where restrictions are put on children based on their sex at birth caused much confusion in my life. Being a girl who hated dresses and dolls, as well as other girly things, I was what some would call a “tomboy.” I liked to play with “boy toys,” my favorite color was and is blue, and I hated having to sit still with my legs uncomfortably crossed. From my experiences, I find the expectations of the female child, and the restrictions placed on her, to be appalling.

I remember thinking to myself, “I should be a boy,” as early as the age of five. I really had no idea what I was talking about. I just knew I hated the fact that I was restricted in the things I was allowed to do. I was sick of having the weight of the world on my shoulders. For example one day, before my dad came to get me from kindergarten, I was waiting to climb up the ladder to go down the slide. A boy named Franklin looked up my skirt. My dad saw, and later I was whipped because a boy had looked up my skirt. To this day, I don’t understand the logic of punishing the victim for what the perpetrator has done to her. My father was blaming me for the actions of another, when all I wanted to do was be carefree, like any child. I also remember sitting for hours on end, getting my hair pressed with a hot comb, also known as a pressing comb. My outward appearance was one way, while inside of me was a wild child desiring to burst free.

At one time, I identified with the character of Pippi Longstocking, the 1969 Pippi Longstocking who I saw on TV and read about in books. There were no stories about strong black girls back in those days, so Pippi was the image I found that I could identify with somewhat. I imagined myself as fast as the wind and as strong as Wonder Woman. I was beating up bad guys and doing amazing things with my body. In my exuberance, I even once jumped off my bed and hit my head on a table. I ended up with twenty-one stitches. Yes, I was a wild child.

During my young adult years, much like my childhood, I felt isolated from other girls. I always felt weird around them, like I was not a part of them, even though we shared similar experiences. But somehow, I knew I was different.

At one point as an adolescent I was trying to wear makeup, and from time to time my mom would guilt trip me into wearing dresses.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.